


The Anxiety of Liking Someone

by wonderlandiscrumbling



Category: Broadchurch, Masters of Sex
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Character, trans alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23418652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderlandiscrumbling/pseuds/wonderlandiscrumbling
Summary: Alec is beginning to like Bill, more than he really wishes to like him. He's worried about if that feeling will be returned.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/William Masters
Comments: 13
Kudos: 44





	The Anxiety of Liking Someone

Alec found that much to his dismay he was starting to like Bill Masters, a lot. He hadn’t liked him much at first, found him distant and arrogant, but then they’d started speaking on a regular basis. He’d learned more about him as a person, found himself starting to understand him, starting to relate to him in certain regards. It hadn’t helped that Bill had wanted to sit in the waiting room during Alec’s surgery, had been at his bedside when he’d woken up later on, he’d looked so concerned and worried before Alec as turned his head to look at him, grunting to let him know he was awake, and then he’d smiled, eyes lighting up and tears rolling down his cheeks that he’d quickly wiped away. He’d learned later on from Miller that he’d worried about him, had listed the twenty or more things that could go wrong during the procedure, he’d apparently been an absolute mess of a man. Alec had been confused by that, it had haunted his mind for weeks to come, only focusing on cases kept him from overthinking it. That was until he’d receive a call or a text from him when he worked late asking if he wanted him to bring him food or coffee, checking in to make sure that he was okay. Some pitiful part of Alex wanted to be suspicious of his kindness, wondered if there was anything behind it that was malicious, but he knew better than that.

Despite how much of a dick Bill had been before, he was being kind because he cared. Alec found himself caring too, even though he hadn’t wanted to he did care. It wasn’t that Alec hated relationships, well he hated dating, and that was the problem. Each time he went on a date he had to find a way to fit into a conversation over dinner that he was transgender, he knew younger people who frequently used dating apps and websites could easily slip it into their bio about their gender identity and their sexuality, that way no dates or one night stands could say they didn’t know, because they did. Alec only became frustrated using those apps and sites when his daughter tried to show him how to use them, it hadn’t felt right going on dates with somebody who he’d seen through a screen. Still now he was left with feelings for a man who didn’t know and that was frustrating. He knew deep down that Bill wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t take issue with this fact about him; he’d seen Bill punch a man in the face for throwing out homophobic slurs, there was no way that he would be the type to be transphobic. Still it was an anxiety that rested heavy in his chest, on top of that there was the problem that Bill could just in a general sense not be interested in him. The last thing he wanted was to tell somebody he’d grown to see as a friend that he was developing romantic feelings for him only to receive that awkward look followed by ‘oh’ and a rambling explanation about how while that was nice the feelings weren’t returned. 

All of it left him anxiously pacing outside of the hospital where Bill worked, wondering if he should just get back in his car and head back home where he could drink a bit, watch TV, and not think about this ever again. Just as he started to turn and head back towards his car he was stopped.

“Alec!”

He tensed, turned, forced a smile as he gave a small wave to Bill who looked quite happy to see him. It wasn’t that Alec wasn’t happy to see him, he was, just nervous, and feeling like an idiot. He felt like a child, not a man in his forties, he didn’t understand why this made him nervous.

“Hey, your shift over?”

“It is, is there something you need?” He asked, a flash of concern in his eyes.

“No, well, nothing bad. I was, was wondering if we could talk.” He finally managed to say as he took hold of his friend’s arm leading him over to a bench.

He’d thought over locations where this could happen; if it was at either of their homes then it would be five times more awkward if it went poorly, in a pub or restaurant people could listen in on their conversation and Alec was sick of the people of this town gossiping about him and his business. Outside the hospital though where people passed, but never looked their way seemed safe, if this went poorly then he could quickly make his way to his car and grieve through this in whatever way he wanted to.

It was a minute until he noticed that Bill was still staring at him, still looking worried like despite his assurance he didn’t believe him. He couldn’t blame him; Alec hadn’t been honest about his heart issues until he’d collapsed in front of him. He nearly jumped when Bill placed a hand on his arm.

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” He asked again, tone gentle but urgent.

Again, Alec forced a smile, patted the back of his hand. “Promise, look um I need to tell you something about myself. I’m, I’m transgender, I thought to tell you sooner, but the thought didn’t occur to me.” 

Bill was quiet for a moment, not a long moment, but just long enough for Alec to begin to worry. Still his hand was on his arm, he didn’t look upset by the news, he gave a short slow nod of his head. “I see, that’s fine, I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough to share that with me.” He said, a small smile finding its way to his face.

“I do, I do feel comfortable with you that is. Another thing too, I, I like you quite a lot.” He could cringe at how juvenile that sounded. “Would you maybe want to go on a date with me, could just come to my place, I could cook for you even.” He offered, wondering if he wanted to go on a date with him where everybody could gawk at them, he still was considering moving out of Broadchurch.

Bill’s smile brightened, he surprised him by pressing a kiss to his cheek, fingers digging into the fabric of his suit jacket. “I’d like that very much,” he whispered, breath tickling against Alec’s cheek. 

He felt relief wash over him, smiling more genuinely now that he felt at ease. “Great, my place around eight tonight then?” He asked making no move to get up from the bench they still sat on.

Bill nodded, “I’ll be there, do you want me to bring anything?”

“No, just you.” 

They sat together a moment longer, Alec kissing him gently before he finally got up to leave, feeling lighter than he had in the days leading up to that moment.


End file.
